Travelling can give you a lot of memories – both good and bad. Especially, when you are travelling on a flight along with several other travellers, you are bound to come across a lot of different stories. Here is a compilation of 10 crazy real-life airport stories that will crack you up.
All credit goes to the original posters.
1. Flight education gone wrong
“I worked at an airport for 15 years. I was supervising the departure of a flight to Paris but we had a mechanical problem: engine change required = 24 hours of delay. It was a Sunday night and we sent all the passengers to the airport Hilton. The following day, the aircraft was ready to go and this lady asks to speak to a supervisor because she’s unhappy about this delay. So I go to meet her and her husband and listen to her complaint. She claimed that her husband and she had spent the previous evening calculating the cost of grounding the aircraft, sending everyone off to the hotel with meals and that it came out cheaper than letting a half-full flight across the Atlantic.
Combining both flights (Sunday’s and Monday’s) would save the company loads of cash she says. So I stay calm and I politely explain to her that the aircraft hit a couple of birds during take off and that the engine was severely damaged and that we needed 24 hours to change it, which is pretty standard for an L-1011.
That’s when it gets weird.
She pokes her husband in the ribs and starts to laugh: “Oh honey, he’s trying to make me believe that planes need engines to fly!” The conversation lasted another 10 minutes during which she insulted me for taking her for a dummy because everyone knows that planes don’t fly with engines. She promised me that once back home in Paris, she was going to tell all her friends about this airline and get a lawyer. To this day, I imagine this French lady in a Chanel suit, sitting at a typical snotty French dinner and telling her snotty friends the story of the crazy Canadian airline worker who tried to convince her planes flew with engines.”
2. Who let the dogs out?!
“Saw a lady walking with a dog on a leash, I think it was a golden retriever or something similar. Anyway, I remember thinking, “Hmm. I didn’t know that dogs were allowed to walk around in airports.” Right after the thought crossed my mind, the dog stopped, the lady started saying, “No no no no no no!” and the dog just took the most massive dump I think I shall ever see a dog take. The dog must’ve been holding it in for a solid week or something because it was just a steady flow that built up into the most incredible poo pile. I didn’t stick around so I’m not sure how they handled the cleanup. I’m guessing a forklift was involved.”
3. Men will be men
“This happened to my dad and mom when they traveled to the USA.
During immigration stamping, my Dad and mom went together to the same officer.He asks the usual questions – the purpose of visit, who are they visiting, for how long and so on.
Then he looks at my dad and asks “How long have you been married?”
Dad – “40 years”
Officer – “To the same woman?”
Dad – “Same Woman”
The Officer and my dad take a deep breath and exhale – simultaneously.
Later, when my mom questioned him about the last expression – Dad told her that it is a bro code that only men can understand.
I wonder what that means!”
4. Fast and furious
“This happened in Feb when I was going to Goa. Our night flight had been delayed till 1 am.
Among my fellow passengers was this one gentleman who was well dressed but had a definite small-town air about him. He approached the ground crew member and this exchange took place:
Man: Excuse me, ye plane kab ayega? Delay kyun hua? (When will the plane come? Why was there a delay)
Ground Crew: Delay Mumbai se aane mein hai. Ek ghanta aur lagega. (The delay is while coming from Mumbai. It will take another hour)
Man: Toh unhe bolo na thoda tez chalne ko. Jaldi pahunch jaega. (So tell them to go a bit faster. They’ll reach sooner)
Ground Crew: *intially speechless but spoke with a straight face* Sir plane 900 se tez nahi chal sakta. (Sir the plane won’t go faster than 900km/hr).”
5. Unwrapping the surprise
“Years ago, I found myself in a hotel room in India getting ready to catch a flight back to the UK after two long weeks on the road. As you can imagine, I had a fair number of clothes to pack (it had been two weeks of staying in hotels after all) and that included a large number of used underwear. Not wishing to pack them with the rest of my clothes, I looked around my hotel room for a plastic bag but realized I didn’t have one. Finally, I noticed some gift wrapping, a remnant from a present a friend had gifted earlier in the trip and I bundled all the used underwear into the gift wrap before tying it up with the ribbon that had come with the gift wrapping.
Job done, I checked out, caught my flight and landed back in the UK. Now it hadn’t happened to me before and it hasn’t happened since but it had to happen then. A customs officer flagged me (female as it happened) and asked to inspect my suitcase. Like a good citizen, I dutifully obliged. I opened it up and right there sat my gift-wrapped package, positively screaming for attention. Was she going to ignore it? Like hell, she was. She asked me to unwrap the package; I tried telling her that was not a good idea; she got even more curious and then steelier, insisting that the package had to be opened and finally opened it herself. The look she gave me once she saw what was inside, as she tried to figure out my particular malady – how many parts lunacy mixed with how many parts perversion and narcissism – was pretty priceless. It would have been pointless to try and explain, so I didn’t. I just tried to stay composed, as if I couldn’t see what was the matter, repacked my suitcase and made haste for the exit with as much dignity as I could muster.”
6. Why so serious?!
“When I was 14, my family and I were going to Kashmir from Delhi for a vacation.
We were moving towards the security check area, where you’ve to remove your jackets and put all electronics in a tray, and then go for the security check. It was my turn to go. I went inside the private cubicle and said “Hey” to the lady who seemed to be tired of her job. She did not reply. (Yep, I found that rude.)
After frisking me, she put her hand in front of me.
Me : *Maybe she’s asking me for a hi-five because she had ignored my “hey” earlier.*
Me – *gives a hi-five*
Security checker – *stares at me*
Me – *smiles*
Security checker – GIVE ME THE BOARDING PASS.
Me – Sorry.” *Awkward*
7. Sleep is for the weak
“I was taking a long haul flight from London to Mumbai and as the flight took off, I realized my in-flight entertainment wasn’t working. There was no way I was sitting through a 9 hr flight staring at a blank screen. So I looked around, saw a spare seat couple of rows ahead and moved.
15 mins ways later..
I fell asleep on my new seat. I woke up an hour later to realize that I left my wallet and phone at my original seat. Half sleepy, I walked back to my seat – checked my phone and wallet. I had no patience to go back, so I went back to sleep( this time at my original seat).
30 mins later…
I receive a tap on my shoulder. There was a gentleman standing to my right.
Me: “Yes ?” (half- asleep)
He: “You were sitting next to me. Then you walked away with my shoes. I have been searching you for last 30 mins ”.
I looked below the seat to find he was right, I had walked away wearing his shoes and left my shoes at his seat.
If this was not enough the passengers next to me heard the story and started laughing. I handed him his shoe and walked the aisle with a red face to collect my shoes.
Moral of the story: Don’t sleepwalk in a plane”
8. Cersei Lannister’s walk of shame
“So this was my first ever airplane journey. I had to travel from Mumbai to New Delhi.
I reached Mumbai airport well ahead of time. I stood in the queue for baggage check-in. The lady at the check-in counter told me that there was another flight for New Delhi which was scheduled to take off in 30 minutes (While my original flight was still to depart in one and the half hour) and asked me if I can travel in it. So after baggage check-in, I stood in security check-in queue to board the latest flight. My bad luck that the queue was long enough to consume my 30 minutes. When I finished with security checking, it was almost the time for the flight to take off. Suddenly I heard something on announcement speakers.
This is the last boarding announcement for Mr. Milind Gupta. Kindly immediately reach the boarding counter.
Oh boy! I didn’t want to miss the flight. I ran faster than the Flash towards the empty bus waiting just for me to take me to the plane and I meanwhile breaching two levels of security. The two security people ran behind me and caught me before boarding the bus.
Sir, have you got your backpack checked.
Yes. I did.
I showed them the tag with security stamp and they allowed me to board the bus. I reached the plane and the time was already 5 minutes past the scheduled departure time. I took the entry in the plane through the rear door and saw every head turned towards me.
Believe me, the look on each of their face told that if I would have been late for another second, they would have paraded me naked all through the terminal, very much like the (in)famous Cersei Lannister’s walk of shame.
So I settled on my seat and just when I tried to be relaxed there was an announcement from the pilot.
Due to a sudden increase in traffic, the flight will not take off until next 25 minutes.
And I saw all the heads once again turning towards me.”
9. The great Indian aachar fiasco
“All my relatives live in Delhi. Due to this, I’m a frequent flier from Goa to Delhi. My parents are big time foodies and will always ask me to get aachar (pickle) from Delhi. I’m like George Clooney from “UP in the air” when it comes travelling. To save time on check-in’s I usually travel with just a couple handbags at the most.
I was travelling on Air Asia and during flight, the captain informed us about the brand new aircraft they had just taken delivery of.
Now, during this smooth flight, I suddenly smell something odd. I ignore it for some time but it starts to get stronger.
By this time I knew what happened. The pickle packet was loose and it had probably spilled all over in the overhead compartment.
I wished I was wrong but as soon as I opened it the strong odor filled the cabin.
The cabin crew quickly came over with air fresheners and took care of the entire situation.
Meanwhile, I got the sulking faces of the fellow passengers. The cabin crew was polite and told me it’s ok, we understand Indian mother’s love with a beautiful smile.
Back home my parents had a hearty laugh named it the Indian aachar fiasco.”
“I was at the Dubai airport waiting for my flight to Bangalore when a flight crash landed. We knew it was going to be a long delay, so we started pondering upon how or why the plane crash-landed and caught fire, the situation escalated quickly, to a point where we started blaming Boeing for their design faults in our theories.
It so happens that I noticed a person sitting right next to us and listening to our hypothesis quite carefully. Intrigued by his calm looks, I asked him for his views, and as calm as ever he replied: “I really cannot say anything as it seems to be a very complex issue.” Unimpressed, the rest of us then carried on with our very own NTSB investigation.
Later on, when asked what he did for a living, he replied: “I work as a design engineer for a small aerospace company called Boeing.””
Do you have any interesting airport story to share? Put it down in the comments section.
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